Topic: Harassment, Parliament and the BBC

[AliceB]

I didn't say they all are. But clearly they are not all strong and confident people either, or they would have dealt with it at the time and, if knocked back by those saying not to make a fuss, or that they were being silly, or threatening them with losing their careers, would  have made an even bigger fuss, not put their heads down and kept quiet.

Why do you think these people didn't speak publicly at the time?

I think one of the reasons might be that they were able to let the matter go at the time it happened, perhaps because they were strong and confident women, but decided to speak out (or in Leadsom’s case speak quietly asking for anonymity) when it became clear that their experience was only one of a string of similar experiences ‘enjoyed’ by other women over the years and the male perpetrator looked likely to get away with it because other people, some of them women, frown on other people making a silly fuss about such things.

There’s an article in today’s Observer which throws more light on the Fallon issue.


(There appear to be two threads on this theme by the way)

[SG]

There are indeed two threads on this topic.  However, the other one is within the 'members only' part of the forum whereas this one, as it says at the top of the page, is public and open to everyone

[Beppy]

Well then, you were clearly strong and confident enough to make a stand. There are some who are perfectly aware of what is right and what is wrong but do not have the strength and confidence to handle a difficult situation.

They are not to be dismissed and derided. They need support and good for them if they now are finding the strength to stand up and complain at last.

Is it not possible for those lucky enough to be strong and confident to have a little compassion for those who are not and who often suffer indignities and difficulties because of it?

So they just sleep with anyone or take harassment  because because they have no confidence, can't say no? You don't know me or know the measure of my compassion any more than I know yours so please don't assume.

[AliceB]

There are indeed two threads on this topic.  However, the other one is within the 'members only' part of the forum whereas this one, as it says at the top of the page, is public and open to everyone

Yes I realised that but I didn’t know that made a difference.

[SG]

Yes I realised that but I didn’t know that made a difference.

The difference is that some members may not feel comfortable posting their views and opinions in a public thread where they can be seen by anyone who chooses to look

[AliceB]

I see, thank you. I’ll restrict my posting to one thread though to avoid repetition.

[Lila1410]

(Members only doesn't mean really private anyway, as there are so many who never post anything.)

[guest534]

So they just sleep with anyone or take harassment  because because they have no confidence, can't say no?

Well, that is a rather bald way of saying something much more subtle, but the essence is the same.

Yes, there are women who sleep with someone and/or take harassment because they are lacking in confidence and self-worth. There are even women who are in abusive relationships and do not leave, or are persuaded to return and that isn't because they are strong and confident people, is it?

[guest534]

I see, thank you. I’ll restrict my posting to one thread though to avoid repetition.

Which one? I prefer not to duplicate too.

[SG]

Well, that is a rather bald way of saying something much more subtle, but the essence is the same.

Yes, there are women who sleep with someone and/or take harassment because they are lacking in confidence and self-worth. There are even women who are in abusive relationships and do not leave, or are persuaded to return and that isn't because they are strong and confident people, is it?

But sometimes they are.

[guest534]

There are always exceptions to every rule, but it is absolutely taken that the majority of women ( or men ) living in coercive relationships are there because they are being manipulated and most strong and confident people are not easily manipulated.

[SG]

OK

[Astoria]

I can't remember words that were said to me or words I said yesterday accurately. How do the accusers recall things that were said years ago and report them word for word.

So many of the accusers also use the same words to describe their alleged ordeals namely 'lunged' and 'barged' How does a man 'lunge' at a woman in a lunchtime restaurant  meal?

Sounds like many accusers have got a WhatsApp group going on. "We've used 'lunged' and 'barged' a lot sisters. Anyone used 'thrusted' yet?"

[Myra]

I can't remember words that were said to me or words I said yesterday accurately. How do the accusers recall things that were said years ago and report them word for word.

So many of the accusers also use the same words to describe their alleged ordeals namely 'lunged' and 'barged' How does a man 'lunge' at a woman in a lunchtime restaurant  meal?

Sounds like many accusers have got a WhatsApp group going on. "We've used 'lunged' and 'barged' a lot sisters. Anyone used 'thrusted' yet?"

Unless we've been lunged at, how would we know?

[guest1764]

I can't remember words that were said to me or words I said yesterday accurately. How do the accusers recall things that were said years ago and report them word for word.

So many of the accusers also use the same words to describe their alleged ordeals namely 'lunged' and 'barged' How does a man 'lunge' at a woman in a lunchtime restaurant  meal?

Sounds like many accusers have got a WhatsApp group going on. "We've used 'lunged' and 'barged' a lot sisters. Anyone used 'thrusted' yet?"

He didn't 'lunge' at her in a lunchtime restaurant.  You didn't read the article so how can you comment on it?